We all recognise the popular image of submissive men who worship women and get off on being dominated. So why is it that submissive women are often perceived very differently? This response is perhaps understandable on the surface, but it misses the point. Sexual kinks and fetishes do not usually translate from the bedroom to the outside world, let alone to the boardroom. Surely the very point of equality is acknowledging that women can have the same desires as men? Surely everyone should be free to indulge their kinks without shame or judgment, regardless of gender? I spoke to women who are happy being sexually submissive and asked them what they get out of it.
Many women are "closet submissives. At the risk of "tooting my own horn," I have had many women refer to me as "The Black Christian Grey" as well as "The King of Verbal Seduction" a nickname frequently used on my adult-themed podcast program, The Erotic Conversationalist. To this day, I have a number of e-mail messages and messages on the popular social networking site, Facebook, from women who refer to me as "Sir," "Daddy," or "Mr. Currie" instead of simply "Alan. I have a number of audiotapes of me erotically dominating women verbally that these women have actually asked me to share with other women. Is this a "talent" that only I possess?
But how often do we hear the nitty-gritty of how we can actually better understand our deepest desires and most embarrassing questions? Bustle has enlisted Vanessa Marin, a sex therapist , to help us out with the details. No gender, sexual orientation, or question is off limits, and all questions remain anonymous.